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Burning Bridges

Burning bridges. Is there ever a good or right time to do it? Niki Pocock has a post on that at her blog It’s All Wrong, which she spends asking that question. I have the feeling this is not a yes or no kind of topic, rather it will depend on who you are as a person. I’ll take a shot at answer it though.

Don't Do This

In my experience, burning bridges in the professional world has never been an option. You have no idea what the future will hold, or what the person on the other side of that bridge you are burning (presumably an ex-employer or co-worker) will say about you. If there are negative feelings there already, burning a bridge simply adds to the bitterness, and gives your former employer another black mark (from their point of view) to discuss.

Whether or not you want a potential employer to make contact with a former employer, they will do some background checking. Jason Mollica, PR Manager at Carr Marketing Communications in Amherst, NY says this in the comment section of Pocock’s post:

The bottom line? Be smart. But sometimes, it’s inevitable that a bridge will be burned. It shows the type of person you are and the kind of worker you will be for that new employer.

That’s about as well as I can put it. If your former employer wants to burn a bridge, so be it, nothing you can do about that. However, don’t go out of your way to pull a Green Day (may contain NSFW language).

An opposing viewpoint, presented by Arun Manansingh, Chief Information Officer for FusionLatina, LLC from his post inDecember is burning bridges is viewed as a tool, and employed when needed:

There are only so many hours in a day. To be successful you need to be more efficient, get more things done, and prioritize. By keeping every connection and relationship you are bound to get unnecessary calls, e-mails, etc. that will eat up your precious time. Time best served directed at something to make you more successful.  If those connections help you, that is great but if they do not, it is time to strike a match.

I disagree. Here’s the thing, perhaps Arun and I just have different definitions of what it means to burn a bridge. To me, that means parting ways, never to return. It is possible he is saying end the professional relationship, and rebuild it if necessary. I’d agree with that, but why reconstruct a bridge if you don’t need to?

Rather than burning a bridge, just agree to disagree with your former employer. Try to part on good terms, or at the very least neutral terms. Nasty office politics that can arise from burning bridges; perhaps we should all just adhere to what our mothers taught us:

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. March 2, 2010 at 10:33 AM | #1

    Matt,

    Thanks for the mention! Mom’s know best, don’t they? The only problem is that we sometimes forget that wisdom. I don’t think burning a bridge is ever a tool in a business relationship. Word gets around pretty fast (especially in smaller markets). The more people hear that you don’t care about relationships, the tougher time (I think) you will have finding a new employer.

    Great follow up to Niki’s blog.

  2. March 2, 2010 at 12:57 PM | #2

    Great points. There have been countless times when I have told myself to listen to mom’s age-old advice. Seems she really does know best. It can be so, so, so, so hard to bite your tongue. Sometimes it just boils down to having the energy, and time, to continue with the bridge-breaking feud, as Mr. Manansingh alludes to. Anger can be exhausting. If you think the bridge might even be weakened, why not spend that energy building new bridges? Thanks for linking to my blog!

    • March 2, 2010 at 1:05 PM | #3

      Glad to Niki, and the same to you for posting it on Twitter! I just think there is value in keeping every relationship on the table. I’ve no problem with putting it in the filing cabinent (i.e. telling a business contact that the relationship isn’t moving forward, telling a boss you are moving on due to differences, etc.), but I don’t see the value in throwing them away. No one has a crystal ball, and you never know when that nasty professional spat you had 10 years ago may pop up to bite you in the present.

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